Makueni Governor, Prof Kivutha Kibwana, is the talk of town. Kenyans, long resigned to making do with pompous demigoats who believe maendeleo is looting, launching pit latrines and bedding every wench, can’t believe the self-effacing scholar is delivering on his campaign pledges and transforming Makueni.
So they want to make him President in 2022, apende asipende. They even have a ready running mate for him, the eloquent intellectual, politician and current UNCTAD Secretary General, Dr Mukhisa Kituyi.
The social media activists fronting Kibwana and Kituyi are of the opinion that after experimenting with tribes and stomachs for decades, it’s time we dealt tribalism and politics of division a deadly blow and accorded competence a chance.
The seriousness with which backers of Kibwana presidency, who transcend tribe and political parties, are treating their mission is not in doubt.
They are proposing that in the unfortunate event that their candidate of choice refuses to accept their request, he should be kidnapped and forced to take oath of office of presidency, at gunpoint, before being frogmarched to Statehouse to replicate his Makueni wonders in our banana republic.
Kidnapping Kibwana, the proponents say, and dragging him to statehouse by the collar, is a national duty that should be backed by all and sundry.
Should Kibwana play cat and mouse games with Kenyans and fail to appear on the presidential ballot paper, he should be lynched for denying Kenyans good leadership. Haa!
Indeed, Kibwana’s Twitter handle and his Facebook page are the avenues where sick and misguided elements who accuse Jubilee and a section of governors of investing in PR and phantom projects troop daily for development doses.
They claim Kibwana’s posts and tweets are about real development projects on the ground. Apart from his able leadership, they claim Kibwana is a humble, servant leader.
Here, after all, is a leader who resides in his village home, and hangs out with peasants. He even goes as far as consulting illiterate villagers and seeking their approval before he initiates any development project.
And so, for the reasons elucidated above, Kenyans are on Kibwana’s neck demanding that he runs for president.
And they have expressed desire to contribute money to fund his campaigns because, if you may recall, a CS warned that one cannot run for president in Kenya without at least Sh200 billion in cash tucked under the pillow.
Of course it is laughable for someone like myself who is younger, less educated and whose political experience is limited to campus politics to advice Kibwana.
But that won’t stop me offering Prof unsolicited advice. Don’t run for office – run for dear life! I say this because the reasons why Kenyans think Kibwana would make a good president are the very reasons why he would fail hopelessly as president.
If you recall, during his first term, he almost got shot dead for bringing his preachy do-gooder jokes to the county assembly.
MCAs wanted to lynch him because he wanted to splash money meant for eating on development projects. How naïve is that?
As President, Kibwana would be dealing with serious cartels, crooks who pinch billions, and not mere kanjuras itching for a foreign trip, a little cash for a second hand car and cows to marry a second wife.
The big cartels would kill him – ooh! – if some foreigners didn’t poison him with fake fish first.
Kenya is not Makueni. State House is not the university common room. The presidency is a big deal. It’s a job that requires one to be imperious and guarded around the clock.
It demands that one must have a kitchen Cabinet because certain considerations compel you to hire a couple of idiots and scoundrels.
One must walk around launching old development projects, contribute huge sums of money in harambees and occasionally insult this or that opponent.
Truth be told, the good Prof is none of that.